Yesterday was five months and it hasn't gotten any easier. Some days I still forget and think about things that I want to tell her or show her but then I remember and the pain comes rolling in like a tidal wave. Then I want to know why. . . . .why my Mom? Why did she have to go through so much pain and suffering? Why do we have to be the ones mourning the loss of our Mom? What is the purpose in all of this? Some days I really wish I had a view life button like the view blog button on this blog. What is God's plan? Why have we had so much loss and pain? Two babies in heaven that we hardly even knew about, one who we "knew" for almost 6 months and then Mom? I just don't understand and I miss my Mom so much. I need her to give me a hug and a kiss and tell me that it will be ok. But she can't and I hate it. And I just really miss her.